Another Grandpa

Well, Caydin, you have another Grandpa up there with you now! At first, you were with lots of family, but only family that I didn't know very well. Now you are starting to get more family of familiar faces, at least to me! I so badly wanted to tell both Helmut and Grandpa to say hi for me and give you a great big hug and kiss from me, but I wasn't able to tell them that before they went. I secretly hope that they knew. I miss you so much, and it's brought all my thoughts and emotions about you right back up to the surface again loosing grandpa. I will miss him so much too. And, it has made the reality of seeing you again more real again. To survive each day, it's like I've had to accept the fact that my relationship with you is a more distant one right now. I have come to accept my "angel" in heaven and become more used to thinking of you in that way, and accept the fact that it could be a while before I get to see you again. "Someday" I will see you again, and "someday" I will get to hold you again, but for my heart to function even somewhat normally, I don't think so literally of when that "someday" might actually be. So, when grandpa went home, suddenly I remembered that there WILL be a someday, and I wish for it so much! I think the whole first day I found out Grandpa passed away was spent just trying to soak in the realization that his "someday" was finally here! He was only 12 years old when his 8 year old brother, Charles, was hit and killed by a car. He had to wait until he was 78 years old for his "someday", but now it is a reality! I just pray for strength to get through until my "someday" is here! Oh how I miss you and long for my "someday"!!!